Nightmare
by webbswoman
Summary: Mickey Webb has been back at Sun Hill for a while now, but his past is about to come back to haunt him. FINISHED!
1. Prologue

Prologue

He tossed and turned in his bed. Images were running through his mind, a man in front of him, smiling. He screamed, "No, get away from me; I don't want you, no please, no!" The man moved closer, grabbing his wrists, "Ready to play, pretty- boy?"

Mickey Webb sat up in bed and threw the covers off; he glanced over at his alarm clock, 6:30 am. He decided to get up and get ready for work, his alarm would be going in half and hours time anyway, and he doubted he would be able to get back to sleep.

That was the fourth nightmare he had had that week, all of them had featured his rapist, Martin Delaney, although nearly five years had passes since the incident Mickey was still suffering. He was beginning to think the suffering would never stop.


	2. Time for Work

Chapter 1

Mickey took the stairs up to the CID office two at a time, although he had woken early he was still running late, at the top of the staircase Mickey slowed his pace a little bit, not wanting to draw any unnecessary attention to himself, too late.

"DC Webb, you're half an hour late, again" Mickey turned to see the new Superintendent, John Heaton poking his head out of his office.

"Yeah, sorry sir, got stuck in traffic, there was an accident or somethin'."

"Mmm, see that it doesn't happen again, and you'll need to make up the time"

As Heaton walked off, Mickey mumbled under his breath, "arrogant bloody pig". Mickey jumped as he felt a hand on his shoulder; he instinctively flinched away from the touch as he turned around.

"Bloody hell guv; give a man a heart attack." Jack smiled.

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you, look I'd be careful what you say about Heaton, if it gets back to him he'll make your life hell."

Mickey gave a hollow laugh, "It already is hell, guv, it already is."

There was a pile of folders waiting for him at his desk, but he ignored them, he could always do paperwork later. Instead he logged onto the computer and checked his emails. There were a couple of junk emails, one off his bank and one off someone he didn't recognise, curious he clicked onto it and was delighted to see that it was from an old friend of his.

He read it with a smile on his face,

Hi Mickey,

It's Duncan. I'm back in the Sun Hill area and was wondering if you would like to catch up. I don't actually know where you are at the minute, last thing I'd heard you were in MIT, but that could have changed! Can't believe how long it's been since we had a drink together! I got your email address off Debbie (I think she got it off Meadows.) Anyway hope to see you soon mate.

Duncan Lennox

Mickey paused for a moment then hit the reply button,

Hi Duncan,

Would love to meet up, I' m actually back at Sun Hill! Why don't you pop into the station? We can go for a drink afterwards.

See ya.

Mickey

"Ahem," Mickey turned to see Heaton standing behind him, "You are meant to be working, not sending emails to friends."

"Yeah, well I'm waitin' for a job ain't I, I can't work if I ain't been given a case!"

Heaton looked pointedly at Mickey's desk, "I should imagine that there's sufficient work in that pile for you to occupy yourself with, wouldn't you."

Mickey knew what he'd like to say to that but was saved from having to answer by Jack shouting for him.

"Mickey, a word in my office, please." Mickey smirked at Heaton, stood up and walked towards the office door; he exchanged a look with Phil Hunter then entered the office.

"First of all, what did I tell you about getting into Heaton's bad books?" Jack spoke as Mickey pulled the door shut after him.

"Yeah well sorry guv, but he gets on me nerves, smarmy …" Jack interrupted Mickey, "Mickey, you're going to get yourself in trouble if you don't watch what you're saying."

Mickey grinned, "Why, are you going to tell him? Nah look guv, m'sorry alright, I just had a bad night that's all and I'm taking it out on Heaton."

Jack's face changed at once into a look of concern, "What do you mean a bad night, is everything okay?"

Mickey sat down on the edge of Jack's desk, then paused, wondering how to tell Jack how he was feeling.

"To be honest guv, I ain't had a good nights sleep in a long while, but lately its even worse, I'm having nightmares every night, every time I close my eyes I see D.. _him_ in front of me, taunting me, laughing. And I'm bloody sick of it, I just want him to go away, but he won't he never will, so yeah, everything's hunky dory." He stopped to catch his breath.

For about ten minutes the two men sat in silence, Mickey trying to regain his composure, Jack watching Mickey thoughtfully. As they were sitting there, there was a knock at the door and Stuart came barging in.

"Sorry to interrupt guv, but there's a guy down in reception asking to speak to Mickey." Mickey looked up, then stood and glanced at Jack.

"I'll see you soon yeah." Before Jack had a chance to answer Mickey was out the door. He was glad to get away, he suddenly felt very awkward after telling Jack about his nightmares.

Mickey made his way down the stairs and through the doors into reception, he was slightly curious now to see who it was and was eager to find out.

He looked around the main foyer. There was a heavily pregnant woman, with two little boys sitting on her knee, a teenage girl who looked like she'd rather be anywhere but in a police station and then there was a man, he looked about Jack's age, he was tall, broad-shouldered and well-built, with greying unkempt hair.

At the sight of the man Mickey wavered, he hadn't seen him for years, and here he was, out of the blue. He took a deep breath and walked over to the man,

"What the hell are you doing here?"


	3. Memories

Chapter 2

"Well, that's a nice welcome, ain't it! Tell yah what, why don't you try again"

Mickey looked at the man coldly, "I said, what the hell are you doing here? That welcome was good enough for me, now hurry up 'cause I got work to do and me Super's already been on me back twice today."

"Well, you've obviously forgotten your manners, is there somewhere we can talk in private?" Mickey pondered this for a moment.

"Okay, we can talk while I work, follow me."

Mickey led the man up to the CID office, they walked over to his desk in silence and Mickey pulled up an extra chair from Stuart's desk. He sat down and picked a folder off the top of the pile in an attempt to ignore the man.

"Look, Mickey, I know we've had our differences, okay but you can at least hear me out, yeah."

"Why? Come on give me one good reason why I should listen to you, why shouldn't I just throw you out now eh?"

The man was about to reply when Jack came walking up to Mickey's desk,

"Mickey, who's this? Actually you better come into the office. Mickey complied, the man followed him in.

"Guv, this is erm this is my er…he's my ..."

"I'm his old man." Mickey stared at his trainers, Jack's eyes widened in astonishment as he looked at Mickey and the man. He caught Mickey's eye and silently asked for confirmation, Mickey gave a little nod. Then Jack spoke, "Right, well I'm Jack Meadows, Mickey's boss, it's nice to meet you Mr.Webb." He held out his hand to shake.

"Yeah, you too, hope Mickey doesn't give you too much trouble!"

"Oh quite the contrary, he's a great help,"

"Really? He was always useless as a kid, more trouble than he's worth that one!"

Jack didn't know what to say to that, he looked at Mickey, who seemed to be very distressed.

"Actually, Mickey's worth more than the rest of my team put together, he's funny, kind, clever, good at his job and he's like a son to me, so if you're going to insult him don't do it to me. I think you'd better leave." Mickey looked up, his eyes wide with astonishment, "its okay guv, he was leaving anyway, Dad, I don't want anything do to with you, you lost any rights to be in my life years ago, don't bother trying to get in touch again, I don't need you."

Mickey's dad launched himself at Mickey, he couldn't breath, he was the smaller of the two and suddenly felt himself shaking, images running in front of his eyes, Julian Napper, Ron Gregory and last of all Delaney. He hadn't realised that his Dad had released his grip, all he could see was his rapist in front of him, holding him, and he started shaking his head. Someone touched his shoulders and Mickey struck, knocking whoever it was to the floor, he ran.

Jack called after him but he kept on running out the station doors and to his car, he sped off before Jack had even got outside.


	4. Dirty

Chapter 3

Mickey looked at the grave in front of him, he was vaguely aware that he was getting cold and that he was shaking, but he ignored it.

"So Mum, what do you think eh? You proud of me, the way I turned out? I wouldn't be. I'm a coward, can't even protect myself. I got no kids, not even a girlfriend, there was Mia of course, but I messed that up, just like I mess everythin' up. I told her the other day you know, 'bout Delaney, we went and had a drink and talked for ages, but then she tells me she's met someone else, and I know what she really means. She needs someone strong, someone capable, someone who ain't dirty like me, an' I don't blame her, she's right, I'm dirty an' I'm stupid and I ain't even any fun anymore."

Mickey looked down at the whisky bottle in his hand, already half empty, and he took another swig. "Here's to me messin' up my life again eh." And he laughed, long and hard.

Jack Meadows was furious, he was furious and he was anxious. "What the hell did you think you were doing? Mickey's in a fragile enough state without his own father attacking him!"

Mickey's father scoffed, "Fragile, 'im, he's a bloody coward that's what he is. Always has been, always will." It took both Stuart Turner and Phil Hunter to hold Jack back, "Mickey is one of the strongest people I know, he's been through so much but he's still come out the same man, no matter what life's thrown at him he's always come bouncing back, and he isn't a coward! Anyone who can stand up to their attacker in court and look them straight in the eyes is brave, and especially when that attacker is Martin Delaney!"

"Attacker? Delaney? What the hell are you talking about?" Jack groaned,

"You don't know, oh no, damn it."

Mickey was crying now, silently, but hard, he hated Delaney, he hated his Dad, but most of all he hated himself, his mobile began to ring, he checked the caller ID, then answered it.

Guv?"

"Mickey, are you okay?"

"Yeah, m'sorry 'bout running off like that, I just had to be by myself for a bit y'know."

"Mickey, I err, I've put my foot in it,"

"What?"

"I thought your Dad knew about Delaney, I'm so sorry Mickey."

Mickey was silent for a moment as he thought.

"Oh."

"Mickey, I am so, so, so sorry, I just presumed you'd told him, I mean, you never talk about your Dad, but I thought you just didn't like to talk about him, look Mickey, where are you?"

"At Mum's grave. Where's my Dad now?"

"He's down in reception waiting for you" Mickey cursed.

"Right, well, I'm gonna head home if that's okay, he doesn't know where I live, so he won't find me there, I don't want to talk to him. I'll make the time up, but I've been drinking so I won't be much use working today anyway. Sorry."

"Okay, look I'll call in on my way home tonight alright?"

"'Kay, cheers guv, and don't worry 'bout telling my Dad, you weren't to know, see yah"

"Bye"

Mickey sat by the grave for a few moments longer, then after pushing himself up, threw the empty bottle in the bin, and headed back to the car. He stuck the mars light on the top of his car, put the siren on, so as not to be pulled over fro drink driving, and drove home.


	5. Safe Now

Chapter 4

Jack Meadows was sitting in his car staring at the door to Mickey's house, he had no ideas what to expect. Mickey had said he had been drinking when they had spoke on the phone, that had been hours ago, he had probably consumed more alcohol since then. On top of the alcohol, there were the various emotions that Mickey was probably feeling; Jack had no idea what state Mickey was going to be in. But he knew he had to be there for his friend, Mickey had been there for him plenty of times, when he was going through his divorce, when Ben had been going off the rails, when Ben had been arrested, when he had been accused of being corrupt. Mickey had stood by him all the way, even risked his job for him. And how had he repaid him, by telling his Dad Mickey's secret. Pulling himself together Jack got out of the car and walked up the path to the door.

Mickey was aware of the doorbell ringing, he wasn't sure if he could get up to answer it and was going to leave it. But then he recalled his earlier conversation with Jack, he had told Mickey he would call round. Swaying slightly Mickey managed to get to his feet, and knocking several beer cans over on the way he managed to reach the door.

"Just a sec." His fingers fumbled with the lock and after a while he managed to open the door.

"Come in."

Mickey walked back through to the living room and collapsed onto the sofa.

"So Guv did m'dad hang around all day or did he give up and go home?" Mickey was slurring his words slightly but he didn't care.

"He had to be escorted from the building, he promised to be back tomorrow though."

Mickey gave a hollow laugh, "yeah well he'll love a chance to tell me what a let down I am, how I've disgraced the family name n all that."

Jack looked around him; there were dozens of empty beer cans and a few empty whiskey bottles as well. He studied Mickey, he was pale and his hair was sticking to his head.

"Right well you are going to go to sleep, then when you wake up and are sober, we'll talk, but you're drunk at the minute so there's no point trying to hold a serious conversation."

"Mmm, I am quite tired, take a seat, night." Mickey mumbled. Jack sat down next to Mickey and got a bit of a shock when Mickey cuddled up to him. But he quickly recovered and placed his arms around Mickey, holding him as he had held his own child when he was ill or upset. As Mickey drifted off to sleep, Jack reflected that Mickey was as much his son as Benjamin was.

Jack fell asleep soon after Mickey had, and they stayed like that for hours.

Jack was awakened by Mickey tossing and turning,

"No, don't want to, leave me alone, I'm not yours. Go away, no please, please" Mickey was almost screaming and Jack hastily started calming him down.

"Shh, its okay, I've got you, no-one can hurt you now, and you're safe, totally safe. It's okay Mickey.

"'m safe now", Mickey muttered to himself, once again dropped off to sleep.


	6. Unseen Tension

Chapter 5

Mickey was aware of two things when he woke up, first of all his head was pounding, as a result of the amount of alcohol he had consumed the previous day. Second of all he had someone's arm around him, and then he remembered. He had fallen asleep in Jack's arms, had had to be calmed down by him when he was having nightmares. Mickey groaned softly then tried to stand up without waking his boss.

Jack woke up the moment Mickey left his arms, during the night he had become tuned in to Mickey, waking only when Mickey need reassuring.

"Mickey, is everything okay?"

"What? Oh yeah guv, um sorry for waking you up, I err, about last night. I'm really sorry."

"You haven't got anything to be sorry for Mickey"

"I fell asleep on you. An' I err well I was freaking out a bit."

"You were having a nightmare; it's nothing to be ashamed of. Do you want to talk about it?"

Mickey walked through into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Jack stuck the kettle on and they sat in silence until Jack handed Mickey cup of coffee. Then Mickey felt ready to speak.

"My Dad was never exactly a great father figure, y'know. Well you saw how he is. When I was growin' up I used to try to be the perfect son for 'im, but I never could be. I mean, yeah I was alright at sport, an' stuff like that but I 'ad different views to 'im. He had his ideas 'bout who he wanted me to be friends with. I had to give off the right impression, y'know, couldn't appear to be a sissy or anythin'. I used to be so scared of 'im, he, well, y'know he didn't like it when things didn't go his way, he wanted to be in charge, he used to hit me an' me Mum. I used to tell him to stop but it just made things worse. I don't think I would of minded that much if it was just me, but it was me Mam an' all. He didn't even bother to come to her funeral, his own wife's funeral and he stayed at home an' got drunk."

Mickey looked around the room, "Guess I'm not as different from him as I like to think, eh!"

Jack shook his head, "Mickey, you are nothing like your Dad, do you hear me. Mickey, he abused you both physically and emotionally, you would never do that."

"I know he's bad, but he's me old man y'know, an' sometimes I just think, maybe it is me. I didn't tell him 'bout Delaney, guess it's 'cause I don't want him to think I'm weak an' dirty. Which is stupid, 'cause he thinks that anyway. I guess I'm still scared of 'im, after all this time. Y'know something' I don't think I'll ever be good enough for 'im, an' part of me doesn't care, part of me doesn't give a stuff what he thinks. But then there's this tiny part of me that still wants to make him proud of me, to make him love me."

"If he isn't proud of you then he's even stupider than I already thin he is, and if he doesn't love you, then he's a bloody idiot Mickey."

Mickey shook his head lost in his memories, his childhood would always be there, a grim reminder of the reality of life, he would never be free of it. But he had though he had moved on, had overcome his fears. Mickey looked at the clock.

"Y'know somethin' guv, I'm going to be late for work. You think I can square it with me boss?" Mickey winked and Jack laughed. Some tension that neither man had known was there was released, and they both started to get ready for work.


	7. Carry's File

Chapter 6

Mickey had been right, he was late for work, he was the last one to arrive in the CID office, but he didn't rush. Terry Perkins was searching through Mickey's desk, obviously looking for something.

"Mornin' Terry, you lookin' for somethin'?"

"Yeah, the Super asked me to look for a file on a Carry Morgan. Do you know where it is?"

"Why does the Super want to know 'bout Carry, she's under police protection at the minute."

"I don't know exactly but I think its somethin' to do with a case that she helped us with. "

"What? Bloody hell, erm I'm not sure where it is, give us a minute an' I'll find it for you, I just need to have a word with the DCI." Mickey hurried towards Jack's office, knocked and without waiting for an answer he entered.

"Guv, I need some help. It's 'bout Carry Mor…" Mickey's voice trailed off, he had realised that there was someone else in the room. "Err, sorry Guv, I didn't realise."

"That's alright Mickey, you know about Neil Manson taking some time off don't you," Mickey nodded, "Well this is the man who will be filling in for him, this is DI Williams, Len, this is Mickey Webb, he's part of your team." Mickey spoke up.

"Right, well it's nice to meet ya Guv, you from around here?"

"No. What sort of work have you done, DC Webb is it?"

"Yeah, DC, used to be DS, but y'know how it goes. Well I started off at Dagenham, then I came here to Sun Hill, I stayed here for about three years, then I did a stint in MIT. Then I got a sergeants job at the NCS an' then I came back here."

"You were demoted?"

Jack spoke up quickly, "Yeah, he was, but it was only because he helped me out on a case without consulting his DCI at the time." Mickey grinned.

"I was on leave at the time y'see. Reckon it was the best move though, moving back to Sun Hill, it's a good station." Mickey then remembered what he had come to speak to Jack about.

"Jack, sorry, Guv. Do y'know why the Super wants Carry Morgan's file?"

"No."

"Oh, it's just that well y'know there's certain things in that file that are quite personal an' well, if it isn't essential I don't see why I can't just tell 'im what he needs to know." Mickey looked Jack in the eye, hoping to convey what he meant, but not wanting to say it in front of Williams.

"Well, I'm not sure Mickey, I'll see what I can find out, but if it's important then the Super will have to see it, you know that."

"Yeah, I know Guv, m'sorry for bothering you its just, well y'know."

Jack nodded and as Mickey left his office he softly muttered, "I know."


	8. A Car Journey

Chapter 7

Mickey walked back to his desk and sat down, deep in thought. So many things had happened recently, his Dad reappearing, the nightmares and now the Super was after Carry's file, no one but Jack and the other people who had been at Sun Hill at the time knew about his ordeal at the hands of Martin Delaney. And they had all been sworn to secrecy, although Mickey was aware of the glances that they sometimes gave him if a rape case came in. Phil and Smithy had been good friends of his before the assault, and although they still were, they were sometimes wary around Mickey and the subjects they discussed while he was around. Mickey wished they would just treat him as normal.

"Penny?" Mickey jumped and turned to see Phil standing next to him.

"What?"

Phil grinned. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"Wha… oh right, just thinkin' that's all."

"Right, well there's someone asking to see you, he say's that you'd want to see him so I thought I'd let you know."

"Oh, right thanks mate; I'll go see who it is." Mickey walked out into the corridor and ran two at a time down the stairs to reception. He tripped a little at the bottom and heard a few exasperated shouts of "Mickey" and "Mickey for Gods sake be careful!" and he grinned, maybe it was like old times after all.

The smile disappeared from his face when he saw who was asking for him, it was his Dad, he turned to go back but a hand grabbed his arm and he heard a hiss in his ear.

"Right son, you and me are going to have a little chat, no interruptions this time." Mickey found himself being guided out and into a car before he could resist. His Dad sped off without waiting for Mickey to put on a seatbelt and he fumbled with it, his shaking hands preventing him form securing it, in the end he gave up.

Mickey tried to reason with himself, it was his Dad, he wasn't going to hurt him, but then his thoughts strayed back to his childhood and that theory went out of the window.

"Where you t takin' me?" Mickey tried to sound casual but his nervous stutter gave him away.

"You and me are going on a little drive son, and then when we reach our destination, we're going to have a little chat. But if I don't like what I hear the I'm going to have to teach you a lesson aren't I."

Mickey gulped, and prayed that someone would realise he was missing, surely someone would have seen his Dad putting him into the car, but then he hadn't exactly resisted so it would have looked like he was going willingly, Mickey thought of Jack and calmed a little, Jack would guess what had happened, Phil would describe his Dad to Jack. Mickey took some deep breaths and sat back trying not to think about what was to come.


	9. Nowhere to run

Chapter 8

The car slowed to a stop and Mickey looked up, he took in his surroundings and acknowledged where he was. His Dad had driven to the flat where they had lived up until he was seven years old.

"What are we doin' here?" Mickey asked.

"Like I said, me an' you need to have a little chat, get out." Mickey obeyed silently and then followed his Dad up the stairs and into the flat, he knew that there was no point running, his Dad was stronger than him, and there was no where else for him to go.

Mickey surveyed the room; it looked as if it was being used as a place for storage, he sat down on a box, and looked nervously at his Dad, who then spoke.

"So, why didn't you tell me about Martin Delaney," Mickey flinched at the sound of his rapists name coming from his Dad's mouth.

"I didn't need to, y'know how it is, if I told you everything that's happened to me over the years, well let's just say you'd probably get bored." Mickey just managed to keep his balance as he felt a hard fist connect with his cheek. The next blow knocked him to the floor, and the kick that he felt to his stomach confirmed for him that his Dad wasn't going to let him off lightly.

He took a deep breath and said a silent prayer.

Mickey had always been a strong believer in God, wearing his cross faithfully, praying for guidance through Kate's death, but he had locked that cross away the day his Mum had died, now though he wished it was around his neck, he needed some comfort but he didn't get any and as he felt more blows rain down on him he closed his eyed tight and imagined he was at home, with Jack.


	10. Punishment

Chapter 9

Jack Meadows was fuming. He turned to the officer behind the desk, Will Fletcher.

"How could you let someone just walk out of here with Mickey? You're supposed to be his friend."

Will Fletcher attempted to speak but got no where.

"Alright so who was it who took him, grey hair, about my age … oh no, you idiot Will!" Jack up to his office and found Mickey's file, he ignored all the information about Delaney and Mickey's career and instead copied down all the addresses where Mickey had lived as a child, then he rushed out to his car and drove off at full speed.

The beating finally stopped, but Mickey knew it wasn't over yet. He felt a strong hand on the back of his head pushing it into the floor.

"So, son, are you going to let anybody rape you ever again?"

"No" Mickey sobbed.

"You ever gonna keep secrets from me again?"

"No"

"Are you weak?"

"Yes."

"Are you dirty?"

"Y yes"

"Are you a waste of space?"

"YES!" Mickey shouted.

"No, he isn't." Mickey felt the hand release him and he turned to look at Jack, but he quickly turned away, shame-faced. Jack walked over to Mickey's Dad.

"Get out." Mickey let out a sob and realised that he was shaking like a leaf.

"Oh God," he whispered, and then "Why?"

A single tear fell past his tightly closed eyes.


	11. Watching, Waiting

Chapter 10

"How long has he been here?" John Heaton turned the woman next to him.

"All night, all he's done is sit there and talk to Mr. Webb, I keep trying to get him to eat or go home but he won't budge." Heaton acknowledged the nurses answer and focussed his attention on the man by the hospital bed again.

"And how is Mickey?"

"Well, he woke up briefly at around three this morning but had to be sedated, he should wake up soon though."

"Will there be any lasting damage?"

"No, at least we are pretty sure that he'll be as right as rain after a few days of rest, personally I think all he need is a bit of TLC, don't you agree Mr. Heaton?"

"Mmm, personally I think that he needs to toughen up, but you are the nurse."

"Yes, I am, if you don't mind me saying so sir, its Mr. Meadows you need to be worried about, he'll make himself ill he will, he needs to eat."

"Come on Mickey, you've got to wake up now, Duncan Lennox was at the station this afternoon to see you, he's coming in later and you don't want to be rude do you? Besides I need you to wake up because I've got something to give you, please Mickey, wake up." Jack started making soothing circular movements on the hand he held in his own, hoping that he could at least comfort Mickey during his never ending nightmare, but Mickey just kept on tossing and turning, trapped in his hell.


	12. Living in the Past

Chapter 11

_Mickey heard another scream, and then another, he wiped the tears from his face and tried to shrink into the sofa even more, but he couldn't get away. His mother was screaming,_

"_Please not in front of Mickey!" and then there was silence. Mickey sat up alert, what if his Dad had gone too far, what if…_

"_There you are, look at you, you're a coward." Mickey was dragged to his feet and pushed hard against the wall, his dad moved right up close to him and Mickey tried not to cower away from the strong smell of whiskey on his Dad's breath._

"_Men don't cry, I'm gonna make sure you never cry again."_

"_No, please Dad, don't hurt me, I'll do whatever you say, just don't hit me!" _

"_That's what you said last time and the time before that." One punch to the stomach, another to his face then a rain of blows to his whole body, then blackness, nothingness._

"_Noooooooooo"_

Mickey awoke with a start; he looked around frantically, searching for his Dad, but saw no one. He breathed a sigh of relief, and then sat up in bed. He looked around him and spotted the bottle of Whisky, standing and moving over to it he poured himself a large measure and downed it in one.

Mickey had been home from the hospital for over a week now, he was returning to work today, Jack still thought he wasn't ready but Mickey had insisted. He glanced at his clock and exhaled noisily when he saw that it was actually time to get ready, _ah well, I wouldn't have been able to get back to sleep for hours anyway_. Slowly, wincing a little he bent forward and picked up his clothes off the floor. As he was leaving the house he spotted his leather jacket and thought about putting it on, _No, I bought that to look tough, and I'm not tough, I'm weak, so I guess I'll have to sell it._

And with that thought in his mind he left the house.

Mickey walked into the CID office, trying to stay invisible, it didn't work.

"Mickey mate, how you doing?" Phil grabbed Mickey's hand and shook it. Mickey attempted a smile.

"Oh y'know, 'm getting there."

"Course you are mate, but if you need anything just ask 'kay."

Mickey nodded and tried to look grateful. It was going to be a long day.


	13. Drinking Away the Memories

Chapter 12

Mickey sat down at his desk sighing, it had been a hard first day back, the first case he had been called out with Kezia to had been a murder, but that had been handed over to MIT, then when he was driving back Kezia had answered a call for an assault case. They were first on the scene and when they went inside the shed they had found a man lying face down bleeding. He had been raped. Mickey had rushed outside to throw up, then shaking he had tried to get him self together, meanwhile Kezia had been the one to phone the ambulance and reassure the man. Kezia had treated him weird all day, and who could blame her.

"Mickey, how did today go?" Mickey turned and tried to smile at Jack.

"Oh, it went okay, I err, I'd love to stay an' chat but I promised a friend I'd meet 'im, so I'll see you tomorrow, 'kay guv?"

"Okay Mickey, hey if you need anything just call." Mickey nodded and walked quickly out of the room.

The minute he got through the door he grabbed a shot glass and a bottle of whiskey; he planned on spending the night forgetting. He was going to face his demons tonight, and then get on with his life tomorrow, that was his plan. His face twisted as he downed the first glass in one, but determinedly he poured another large measure, and ignored the knocking on the door.


	14. Father and Son

**Okay, this is the last proper chapter but I am also putting an epilogue up along with it. **

Chapter 13

Jack Meadows was worried, he had been knocking on Mickey's front door for ten minutes and there had been no answer, but he knew that Mickey was inside; he had watched him go in. Making a decision he walked back to his car and went into the glove box, from there took a key. Mickey had given it to him soon after he had returned to Sun Hill, Jack had been having a hard time with his son Benjamin and Mickey had told him to drop by anytime he needed it, well he needed it now, for his own peace of mind he had to speak to Mickey. Which is why he quietly inserted the key into the door and pushed it open. He walked down the narrow passage and into Mickey's front room.

Mickey was sprawled out on the sofa with a half empty bottle of whisky in his hand, as Jack watched Mickey took a big swig from it, not bothering to pour a glass. There was something in his other hand but Jack couldn't make it out. Jack looked around the room; it was a mess, even since the last time he had been inside. There were bottles everywhere and something had smashed on the floor, as Jack grew closer he could see that it was a photo frame.

"Mickey, look at me." Jack perched down on the edge of the sofa next to Mickey, "Mickey, come on son, look at me." Gently Jack put hid hand under Mickey's chin and turned his head so he was looking at Jack, what he saw there upset him. There were tears in Mickey's eyes, but worse than that Mickey looked gaunt and tired, his face had aged to at least ten years older than he actually was. Jack had always known that Mickey was good looking, he had been proud of the way girls had fought over his surrogate son, but he couldn't see it now, none of the cheeky defiance, no colour, no sparkle in his eyes, no Mickey. He pulled the figure towards him in a tight embrace and muttered reassurances.

"It's going to be alright Mickey, it's alright son, you're safe now, I won't ever let anyone hurt you ever again. You're safe." Jacks mind took him back to a few nights ago when he had said the exact same things, but had he stopped Mickey being hurt, no. He made a vow that he would not stand by and watch again, and then he put the thought out of his mind and concentrated on Mickey. After all that's what a father is meant to do, put his son first, before anything.


	15. Epilogue

Epilogue

**Two Months later**

Mickey whistled as he took the stairs two at a time, smiling to himself he knocked on the door to Jack's office then walked in.

"Hiya Jack how y'doin'?" The man behind the desk turned and smiled.

"Mickey, you're back, how was the holiday?"

"It was great, hey d'you want to know something, I met this girl, her names Francesca, man is she beautiful anyway I took her on a date, then a second one and then on our third date I took her back to my hotel and I…"

"Mickey as much as I love you I don't need to know that." Mickey put an innocent expression on his face.

"I was only goin' to say that we went to the hotel bar and danced all night and she's coming down from Newcastle tomorrow to see me and… wait a minute did you just say you loved me?" Jack nodded. Mickey started to walk for the door; once he had it open he turned around.

"Just for the record, I love you too, Guv." And with that he headed to his desk, happy, content and ready to catch some bad guys.

**That's the end! I hope you all enjoyed the story. I just want to say a quick thank you to all the people who reviewed, I love to get feedback! Thanks again, MeganXX**


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